Getting over a Break up
Break-up, a term which is disheartening to everyone tends to create severe stress to most of us. To understand this term better let’s elaborate its meaning. Break-up is the end or termination of a romantic relationship. What are some reasons that could lead to an end of an intimate partner relationship? It includes factors like Infidelity, incompatibility, unmet needs to name a few.
As humans we are all unique, and so our problems that may lead to a break-up. To begin with, Break-ups are generally contextual i.e., depending on the situation. For example someone might choose to break-up over a single fight and someone else might take this step due to multiple or frequent clashes.
Most people choose to end up a relationship when they are angry (remember anger can be manifestation of several underlying emotions such as disgust, sadness etc.) Though, the better (mature) way is to end with dignity. This means separating on a good note and not engaging into behaviours like blaming or shaming.
It can be hard to ‘break-up’ but it’s harder to deal with aftermaths and emotional turbulence.
Aftermaths of break up may include:-
Feeling of inadequacy
Need for closure
Self doubt/ self pity
Common dilemmas after break-up:-
Being friends with ex: You may or may not choose to be friends with your ex-flame. However, the two can reflect upon the fact that just because the romantic phase is over doesn’t mean healthy friendship cannot survive.
Dating after break up: If you are ready, then why not? But if you mentally or emotionally don’t feel comfortable, it’s best to avoid putting pressure on yourself.
Friend’s opinion: If you are sharing your break-up story with your friend recognise you are communicating only one side of the story. Thus, you are getting suggestions/ opinions that are biased.
Getting back into relationship: You may consider this only if both the partners have developed better perspective and are genuinely willing to alter pattern that led to break-up.
When a relationship ends (due to whatever reason) it’s ok to cry, have a low phase and express the grief. Though, one shall be empathetic, generous and compassionate towards self and ex-partner in order to overcome the loss.