How to Have a Happy Marriage Lower Your Expectations

How to Have a Happy Marriage Lower Your Expectations
Written By: Counselling Psychologist
M.Sc. Psychology - Swansea University, UK.
Reviewed By: Counselling Psychologist
MA Psychology Pennsylvania State University, USA
Last Updated: 07-03-2023

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If you have been dreaming of a long and happy marriage, then you’ve probably been dreaming of happily ever after, too. But what if happily ever after is actually the enemy of a happy marriage? The notion of happily ever after implies an end to the adventure, and if you re waiting for the end – to a particular phase of your marriage or even to your marriage itself – that day will never come. If you are waiting for the time when you finally arrive at your so-called "destination", please be advised that day may never come.

Marriage is hard

We all know that. But do you lower your expectations in your marriage? Have you given up on being truly happy? It’s okay to admit it. It’s better to stop pretending and start being honest about the state of your marriage. You can be happy. You can be satisfied. You can be fulfilled. And you can be fulfilling your spouse. But you have to let go of the expectations that don’t work. If you’re having trouble communicating with your spouse, you’re not alone. Most people find it really hard to have a happy marriage, even when they’re really in love with each other. It’s easy to be high-maintenance and negative. Most of us were raised to believe that we’re supposed to have high expectations in relationships.

It is very important to remove expectations from a relationship.

Women especially tend to have huge expectations from their partners. Often, the partner fails to meet those expectations. This leaves the woman disappointed. At some point, this disappointment turns into frustration and then anger. Our experienced counsellors at HopeQure can help you deal with this and improve the quality of your relationship with your spouse.

How many times have you felt like you just can t love your spouse anymore?

You may be surprised to discover that you are not alone. Love is a choice. It s not our feelings, it s not what they do, and it s not how they make us feel. It s a choice. And that means we get to decide what to do. Just because we choose to do something doesn t mean it s easy. In fact, it s often very hard to do the right thing.

Don t expect too much from those you love

Whether romantic partners, family, friends, or colleagues. If you don t meet their expectations, they will be disappointed and that is likely to make you feel bad. Set your own expectations low and don t be disappointed when others don t live up to them. You cannot ask for something from another person, without putting some kind of expectations on them. No one is perfect and no one can meet your expectations. Find the ways in which you can accept and love your partner exactly the way they are.

One of the most important things you can do for your marriage is to learn how to love someone without expectations. While it may seem like a contradiction, it s not. This is the secret to finding love and happiness in your marriage. It is a guarantee that this will work. Once you learn how to remove expectations from your marriage, you will be able to fall in love all over again.


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