Is Self-care selfish?
Parents tend to teach their children to be kind, emphase the importance of
sharing and also put other’s needs before theirs. Generally, young
children exhibit self-centered behaviors that are usually considered as
selfish.
However, if parents, along with the social graces, also show them that taking
care of oneself and putting one’s own needs ahead too, is not selfish
(Glazer & Clark-Foster, 2019), it would make a huge difference in
people’s lives.
One of the most common myths about self-care is the belief that prioritizing
one’s own needs is selfish. There is a widespread fear among people that
if they look out for themselves, it drives them off their
responsibilities.
However, do you know whats interesting? A study mentioned that, if a person
engages in self-care, they become more capable in taking care of others,
therefore, it is interdependent in nature (Parker-Pope, 2021).
Self-care means that a person prioritises their own well-being particular
during stressful situations.
Self-care is the practice we engage in, to nurture our physical, mental and
emotional health (American Psychological Association, 2023). It is a
continuous process. Self-care helps in:
Thus, the significance of self-care lies in not just pampering oneself, it
focuses more on enhancing one’s overall quality of life by taking some
pro-active steps.
Dimensions of self-care
Self-care has five dimensions, these are dynamic in nature and this helps to
indulge self-care more practically.
Physical self-care
Physical care means enganing in activities that promotes overall wellbeing of
a person. The following will help in maintaining good physical health.
Emotional self-care
Emotional health is built one needs to engage in activities that support
positive mindset. This requires to be in charge of our emotions and not the
vice versa, have the ability to feel and process our feelings and treat
oneself with kindness, mindfulness and acceptance, which in turn will help in
developing positive emotional self-care.
Mental self-care
Mental self-care is keeping the mind at work by stimulating it through
activities that encourage knowledge and continual learning. Below are ways of
incorporating mental self-care:
- Reading books
- Learning a new skill
- Practicing meditation.
- Emotional regulation
- Maintaining boundaries
Social self-care
Social self care is focusing on those connections that one makes with people
throughout their lives. Limiting boundaries with the ones that are toxic and
maintaining meaningful relationships with loved ones is vital for emotional
support and helps in building a sense of belonging.
Spiritual self-care
This involves services that offers individuals to connect with something that
is greater than themselves which in turn helps them to get connected with
their spiritual life. This can come from religion, nature or personal
reflection. Examples of this may include, attending prayers at worship places
or house, practicing yoga or meditation or just simply spending time in
nature.
Benefits of self-care
Improve physical health
According to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the choices
that a person makes every day directly have an impact on one’s health
and choosing a good life style by prioritizing self-care will result in better
health outcomes (CDC, 2021).
For example, occupying oneself in regular physical activity, eating healthy
and getting proper sleep will contribute to improved and good physical health
and can avoid risks of diabetes, cancers and heart diseases.
Strengthen mental health
Research shows that there is a significant drop in the levels of stress and
depression and higher quality of life, when a person engages in self-care
practices (Ayala, Winseman, Johnsen, Hyancinth & Mason, 2018).
Moreover, these practices help individuals to become resilient, build a
healthier and a stronger relationship with themselves, which will allow them
to have a positive coping mechanisms in dealing with challenges and setbacks,
more effectively.
Enhanced productivity and creativity
People usually believe that looking out for oneself will result in less
productivity but in contrary studies reveal that there is an increase in
creativity levels in employees and are more productive when they engage in
self-care activities or at least take regular breaks (American Psychological
Association, 2016).
In addition, a study conducted by Ariga and Lleras (2011) revealed that taking
breaks during work helps in restoring mental resources by allowing the mind to
recharge . It also increases attention span, improved cognitive function,
efficiency of the work and hence, overall productivity.
Thus, these findings suggest that practicing self-care can lead to better
performance at work or at home.
Stronger relationships
When we occupy ourselves in self-care activities, it also helps us in
improving and building a healthy relationship with others. If we put ourselves
first, it helps us to connect with people on a better level and provide them
support.
Research shows that, individuals who engage in self-care practices are more
likely to maintain healthier boundaries in their personal and professional
lives (Rein et al., 2018).
They are comfortable saying no to situations which would drain their time or
energy and are able to delegate tasks efficiently. This will result in
strengthening the relationships and make it more fulfilling with family,
friends, and colleagues.
Embracing self-care should be an important part of our lives. By maintaining
it, people can bring positive changes in their mental and physical health,
enhance their relationship with others and contribute to overall
well-being.
Additionally, we can try to be generous and show compassion to others without
negating our own needs, hence, drawing a line between selfishness and
selflessness.
We live in a world where people are always caught up in the busyness of life,
let’s take a moment to realize and take time to take care for ourselves
which is not only beneficial for us but also for those whom we love and care
for. To incorporate self-care in our lives, it does not need to be time
consuming, difficult or challenging.
Always start with small goals, try and experiment with various practices and
it is important to understand what our mind and body needs. Hence, selfishness
is not an act of selfishness, moreover placing it as your priority will create
a foundation for a healthier and balanced life.