A Simple Guide to Manage your Anger

A Simple Guide to Manage your Anger
Written By: Counselling Psychologist
M.Sc. Psychology - Swansea University, UK.
Reviewed By: Counselling Psychologist
MA Psychology Pennsylvania State University, USA
Last Updated: 23-03-2023

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We have all experienced anger whether as a little annoyance or full-on rage. Being angry is completely normal and is usually considered healthy human behavior. But once it gets out of hand and turns violent, it can lead to complications- complications in life, the workplace, and in personal relationships, etc.  We can’t avoid the things or the people that make us angry. Neither can we try to change them but the thing we can do is manage our reactions.

Anger management is a healing mechanism for anger prevention and control. It has been defined as deploying anger successfully. Anger is regularly an end result of frustration, or of feeling blocked or thwarted from something the situation feels is important. Anger also can be a protective reaction to underlying worry or emotion of vulnerability or powerlessness. Anger management programs contemplate anger to be a motivation caused by an identifiable motive which may be logically analyzed, and if appropriate labored toward.

According to psychologists who specialize in anger management, some people are considered to be more “hot-headed” than others. These people get angry very easily and are more intense than an average person. There are also people who don’t showcase their anger in extraordinary ways but are indefinitely irritable and frustrated

What makes people this way? Causes may include genetic or psychological differences. There is proof that some people are born irritable and easily angered (Levi 2020). These signs may be present from an early age. Another reason may be sociocultural, anger is usually considered negative and we have been taught that it s alright to express depression or anxiety or any other human emotion but anger is like a forbidden emotion. As a result of this, we often do not know how to express or handle it or channel it in a constructive way. People might believe that not getting angry at all may be the solution to anger problems, but that is not the case,  Instead, it means coping with, recognizing, and expressing your anger in a productive and healthy way.

Strategies to handle anger:

  • Manage your thoughts: angry thoughts are like fuel to the fire. thinking stuff like, “I can’t stand it. This is ruining everything,” will increase your irritability and make you grumpier. Try to reframe your thoughts every time you find yourself thinking about things that make you angry.
  • Talk to a friend: if you have someone with whom you feel calm, talk to them about your issue and try to express your feelings to them. But it is important to note that sometimes venting can turn on you and backfire. Make sure to develop a solution to your frustration and not just vent.
  • Step away: sticking out an argument and trying to win in an unhealthy setup will only increase your anger. Trying to remove yourself from the situation is one of the best steps you can take. Take a break if you feel like a conversation is getting heated up. A time-out can be very helpful in calming your body and brain.
  • Identify triggers: we should not blame other people for our outbursts. Understanding the stuff that triggers your anger help in planning according to it. Try structuring your day differently to help you manage anxiety and stress better. You can also try practicing some anger management techniques before you enter situations that you find distressing.

If you use your anger and frustration as a tool you can gain benefits by learning healthier techniques, such as seeking help or standing up in an assertive but mildly aggressive manner. Try to talk to a doctor about your anger management if the situation gets out of hand (Boxmeyer et al. 2018).

You have to understand that life is not always fair and can sometimes seem quite unreasonable. Always getting what you want is not possible; people will usually let you down. this is the reality of life, and we must accept it without anger and resistance. Sometimes things go our way and sometimes they don't. The only possible thing we can do is be creative and flexible in our approach and then just let things work in our favor mostly.



Levi, J.B., 2020. Anger Management. In The Hairy Bikie and Other Metacognitive Strategies (pp. 87-92). Springer, Cham.

Boxmeyer, C.L., Lochman, J.E., Kassing, F., Mitchell, Q.P. and Romero, D., 2018. Cognitive therapies: Anger management. In Developmental Pathways to Disruptive, Impulse-Control and Conduct Disorders (pp. 239-262). Academic Press.

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