Fear of losing someone you love

Fear of losing someone you love
Written By: Counselling Psychologist
M.Sc. Psychology - Swansea University, UK.
Reviewed By: Clinical Psychologist
National Institute for Empowerment of Persons with Visual Disabilities, Dehradun - M.Phil
Last Updated: 15-06-2023

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Fear of losing someone ( Thanatophobia )

Fear of losing someone you love or someone close to you can sometimes develop as an irrational thought or visualization of what will happen if the loved one disappears or die. This thought sometimes impacts daily life, and the present moment and cripples the thinking process. The fear of losing someone or the phobia of losing someone or death anxiety is called Thanatophobia. The extreme thought of dying or fear of losing someone you love is sometimes so intense and cripples in an unhealthy way the daily life

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Fear of losing someone you love is natural as we are social beings. Emotional or other forms of dependency are the causal factor of fear of losing loved ones. The phobia of losing someone may also root in the thoughts of "what will I do without them?"

Fear of losing someone is based on not accepting the fact that humans are mortal. Thanatophobia is a severe phobia of dying or death itself. Death anxiety is another name for this condition. Concerns for your demise or the demise of a loved one may be causing you anxiety.

The fear of losing someone you love is very common. The above facts will help you overcome this fear and if it doesn’t help then you might need to seek professional help. Its treatment concentrates on becoming skilled at refocusing the anxieties and talking about your concerns and feelings.

Couples Therapy
Relationship-centered therapy that connects you and your partner

How does the fear of losing someone build?

It is not unusual for the fear of losing someone you care about to start as a child. Although childhood trauma and loss may not seem to have anything to do with romance and romantic relationships, your early relationships usually serve as the foundation for all of your subsequent relationships, and you frequently carry the scars from your early friendships and relationships with your parents well into adulthood. Parental neglect or abuse is a typical cause of this phobia. Parents who are otherwise excellent frequently aren t even aware of their negligence. This is mainly because some people are unaware that neglect also includes emotional neglect.

Parents who put forth a lot of effort to support their family may feel as though they are raising their children beautifully since they are fed, receive a good education, and have everything they could ever want. However, they could accidentally overlook, minimize, or disregard a child s emotional needs. This may occasionally affect how a person bonds with others or feels, as well as how they handle their emotions.

As a result of a loss, one may experience anxiety about other losses. If a loved one has passed away, or if someone you liked and trusted has abandoned you or deceived you, you may grow quite afraid that it may happen again. These emotions frequently operate as a silent undercurrent in your day-to-day existence and only become apparent once a new relationship has started. They are difficult to define and label. These emotions might manifest as clingy, controlling behavior, placing unreasonable demands on your spouse, and the need for continual contact.

Understanding the two distinctions of the fear of losing someone.

Let s be very specific about the fear of losing someone since anyone with existential anxiety can be stuck circling in the "what ifs." There are two important differences:

First is when you are anxious about the coming death of a loved one who is suffering from a serious illness or is in a high-risk situation. And second, is when you are unable to stop worrying about the death of your loved ones even though they are not really at risk.

Few ways to overcome the fear of losing someone.

  • Stop trying to control things while it can be difficult, note that many things in life are out of your control, including fear of failure.

  • Recognition of death and suffering is part of life many things happen to everyone in their lifetime, and coping with death is certainly one of those things.

  • Spend some time alone with yourself. It is going to give you positive energy. Relax and spend a little time on your own to deal with thanatophobia and have the requisite confidence to conquer fear.

  • Trust yourself that you can deal with all of the fear of failure, it must be troubling how you are going to carry on if it happens. However, you must believe in yourself and how strong you are.

It might feel difficult to move on if anything bad happens. Believe that life goes on. It could seem like life ends right there, where there s a loss. Yet life goes on, time goes by, and you are going to go along with it.

Although life is difficult to move on your way. But to make things better, you must understand that the suffering of loved ones is going to happen one day, and whether you like it or not, you are forced to lose your loved ones. The earlier you understand, you will be able to conquer your fear.

Also, remember that it s never too late. Even though you have the worst fear of losing somebody you love, know that they are already alive in your memories and your thoughts. Anything you are doing is inspired by them. In that, you can take real comfort.

Therapy is available! A mental pattern that might be addressed in therapy is the fear of abandonment. In therapy, you can also address trauma, additional issues that may be related to these worries, and other fears that have an impact on your life. There are many different types of therapy, and the one that is best for you will depend on several things, including any prior therapies you may have used, the issue that is most pressing for you at the time you seek help, your personal preferences, your unique diagnosis, and so on.


The fear of losing someone is also known as Thanatophobia ie, phobia of losing someone, phobia of losing friends, or fear of losing someone you love and can be treated through Online Counseling by the Best Psychologists in India at HopeQure as they have helped thousands of people to overcome this fear, especially after the Covid 19 pandemic. The fear of dying can occasionally develop into irrational fear. For some people, the idea that we will one day cease to exist can be so debilitating that it starts to affect how they live their lives daily. For many people, while having a small amount of fear of dying is normal and good, having a crippling fear that keeps one from living daily life to the fullest is not good and is treatable.

The fear of losing someone you love can be overwhelming and painful. However, if you get the right assistance, you can handle it. Online Couple counseling is a helpful tool for couples dealing with this fear as it allows them to develop a deeper understanding of their relationship and learn healthy communication techniques. For those unable to attend in-person sessions, virtual therapy is a useful alternative that offers convenient, at-home help. It s important to find the right online therapist for your requirements, and HopeQure offers certified therapists that can provide effective and caring therapists in fields like marriage counseling and virtual counseling.

Our Online Therapy sessions will help you to cope with stress, anxiety, or depression. Schedule an appointment with our licensed therapists from the comfort of your home.


1. Death Anxiety - Wikipedia

2. Definition of thanatophobia - Dictionary.com

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