9 Tips to Get Rid Of the Forever Alone Feeling

9 Tips to Get Rid Of the Forever Alone Feeling

 

The feeling that you will end up alone pops in usually when you have tried so hard to settle into a relationship, but it hasn’t gone well for you. This feeling also come up when you see all your friends find ‘the right one’ which leave you pondering and in a pool of sadness. A lot of people have been through this phase, so you are not alone feeling this!

Beginning from late adolescence, our desires built up to find the perfect partner for ourselves. This desire of finding a romantic attachment is natural and a basic human need. Sometimes, our initial relationships or dates do not go as planned and we think to ourselves that we are going to be forever alone. This also develops a sense of self that we are not meant to be loved and that there are too many flaws within us that hinders us to find our partner.

Below we show you some ways from which you can get relieve from the feeling of being forever alone:

  1. Accept yourself- If no one else accepts you, we take their opinion and stop accepting yourselves too. If a businessman sells his product but not believing in it himself, what are the chances a customer would buy it? “Loving yourself is showing others how to love you”.

  2. Do not over-criticize. Some amount of criticism is required to push us to do better. However, if we begin to overdo it, feelings of self-hatred surface. In a day we say many harsh things to ourselves- I am so dumb, I am not so pretty, I can never get things right, etc. such thoughts build up insecurities and negative beliefs about ourselves. How often have you praised yourself after something good that happens? For example, after getting your work done on time- do you say, ‘I am great for finishing this’ or ‘I am smart to get this done’? These are small steps to feeling good about yourself.

  3. Engage in activities- indulge in activities that are pleasureful for you and gives you satisfaction. This can help people get distracted from their loneliness. Being around people will only reduce your feelings of loneliness for some time. Thus, make a list of the activities you can enjoy all by yourself and channel your energy into something productive. While you are at it, there are high chances you get to discover some unknown side and facts about yourself.

  4. Discover like-minded people- Nowadays we have many platforms from where we get to connect with people who share the same interests as you do. This can be a brilliant way to make new friendships and relationships. For instance, you enjoy cooking, or hiking, or perhaps reading books, you’ll find many people who enjoy these activities too and are looking for company too. You can join few societies/clubs (e.g. book reading club) and gather for socializing.

  5. Have change in viewpoint- Often after few bad dates or relationships, we tend to overgeneralize things such as ‘Women only want good looking guys’ or ‘men only want physical relationships’ ‘the good ones are taken’. Deep down even we know those sayings are not true, but we are forced by ourselves to believe them. You need to let go of such thoughts about others and because having them will not help you overcome your fear of being forever alone.

  6. Relationships don’t define you- it is very important to understand that you have your identity with or without being in a relationship. Do not get yourself into relationships just because you do not wish to be alone. Similarly do not stay in a toxic or bad relationship due to your fear of being single. It will seem perfect in the beginning but will come after you in later years.

  7. Help Out others- ever participated for community volunteering? If you have you’ll understand the inner joy of doing this. If not, you have to try it out to know! This is a double win situation. You help people in need with the resources you have or maybe spend some quality time with few elders at an old age home. Serving people brings out a feeling which is indescribable. This will surely make the lonely feelings go away and let in joy and happiness.

  8. Stop chasing after love- This cannot be more emphasized. Love is surprising and better when found expectantly. You simply will not find the true relationship partner if you are greedy for it, because then you will accept the very first person who connects with you. Transform your focus of finding love to expanding network and friendship.

  9. Get help from relationship counselling: Relationship counselors can help you overcome the fear of being forever alone. You can sign up for online counseling where you can get therapy at the comfort of your home.

Remember not to base your worth simply on a few event which did not go the way you had planned. Believe you will find someone who matches your interests and accepts for who you are!

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