An unpleasant emotional reaction to feeling alone is loneliness. Another term
for loneliness is social pain, which is a psychological process that drives
people to look for social interactions. It is frequently linked to a feeling
of estrangement and detachment. While loneliness and solitude overlap, they
are not the same thing. Being alone is the definition of loneliness; not
everyone who experiences solitude feels alone. Loneliness is a subjective
feeling that can occur in social situations as well. Therefore, there is a
difference between feeling lonely and actually being alone. Both short-term
(state loneliness) and long-term (chronic loneliness) loneliness are possible.
It can be excruciating and agonizing in either scenario.
Loneliness can have many different reasons. Genetic predisposition, cultural
influences, a dearth of meaningful interactions, a major loss, an
over-reliance on passive technologies (especially the Internet in the
twenty-first century), or a self-perpetuating attitude are all potential
causes of loneliness. According to research, lonely persons can be found in
all spheres of society, including successful professionals and those in
marriages and other committed partnerships. The majority of people have been
lonely at some point in their life, and others experience it frequently.
Additionally, loneliness has a variety of impacts. Positive outcomes, such as
a greater emphasis on the quality of one s relationships, have been linked to
transient loneliness, or loneliness that lasts only a brief while.
Chronic loneliness, defined as loneliness that lasts for a considerable period
of time, is typically associated with detrimental outcomes, such as an
increased risk of obesity, substance abuse disorders,
depression, cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol.
Prolonged isolation is also linked to a higher chance of passing away and
thoughts of suicide.
Antidepressants and therapy are two medical therapies for loneliness.
Increasing social connection through activities like exercise or religious
pursuits in groups, reconnecting with former coworkers or acquaintances, and
strengthening ties to the community are all common social
therapies for
loneliness. Pet ownership and loneliness-designed technologies, including
meetup services or social robots, are further social treatments for loneliness
(although the effectiveness of some technologies to combat loneliness is
contested).
Causes of Loneliness
Existential: For a long time, loneliness was thought to be a
condition that everyone experiences, at least somewhat. According to this
viewpoint, loneliness is unavoidable to some extent since no one can always
satiate their innate need for connection due to the constraints of human life.
Scholars such as Michele A. Carter and Ben Lazare Mijuskovic have penned books
and essays tracing the history of the existential perspective and its
proponents. In this context, Thomas Wolfe s 1930 article God s Lonely Man is
widely debated. In it, Wolfe argues that while everyone believes they are
lonely in a way that is unique to them, in reality, loneliness affects
everyone occasionally. Although existentialists acknowledge that reducing
loneliness can be desirable, they tend to doubt that such attempts would ever
be completely successful, viewing some degree of loneliness as both inevitable
and even advantageous because it can help individuals appreciate life s joys.
Cultural: Loneliness is said to be caused by culture in two
different ways. Loneliness among migrants might arise from missing their
native culture. Research has indicated that this effect can be particularly
pronounced for Asian students from collectively culturally rich countries when
they attend universities in more individualist English-speaking nations.
Another way to look at culture and loneliness is to say that since the
Enlightenment, when individuality began to take precedence over more
traditional communal norms, loneliness may have been exacerbated by western
civilization.
Lack of Meaningful Relationships: A lot of people find that
their family of origin did not provide the kind of relationships based on
trust that are necessary to create a lifetime memory of a loved one, even
after they have passed away. Parenting practices, cultural norms, mental
health conditions like
personality disorders, and violent family situations can all contribute to this. There is also
religious shunning at times.
This affects people s capacity to relate to others, esteem themselves, and
know themselves—or to do so with considerable difficulty.
The conventional medical or psychiatric advice that advises going out and
seeing friends and family and socializing ignores all these considerations and
many more. When there is no one to relate to and you are unable to connect
without the necessary abilities and information, this isn t always achievable.
A person may eventually get apathetic or disillusioned due to repeated
setbacks, rejections, or disappointments brought on by a lack of interpersonal
skills.
It is challenging to find new ways to connect people with each other at a time
when a lot of people s attention is focused on electronic devices, as the rate
of loneliness among people of all ages is rising annually and is higher among
the elderly. Loneliness has been shown to have negative physical and
psychological effects.
Loss of a relationship: One extremely typical, but frequently
transient, effect of ending a relationship or losing a loved one is
loneliness. A grieving process usually begins with the loss of a significant
other; in this case, even when one is surrounded by people, loneliness may set
in. People who move away for employment or school may experience homesickness
in addition to loneliness as a result of the disruption of their social
circle.
Contextual: Loneliness can result from a variety of
circumstances and occurrences, particularly when combined with specific
personality qualities in vulnerable people. For instance, living in an area
with a low population density, where there are fewer people to socialize with,
can make an extroverted and highly social person feel lonely. Events that one
might typically expect to lessen loneliness can sometimes actually make it
worse, such as having a child (if there is severe postpartum depression) or
getting married (especially if the marriage proves to be unstable, overly
disruptive to previous relationships, or emotionally cold.) Loneliness can be
exacerbated not only by outside circumstances but also by mental health issues
such as
anxiety
and persistent depression.
Self perpetuating: Chronic loneliness can lead to a variety
of maladaptive social cognitions, including hypervigilance and social
awkwardness, which can make it more difficult for a person to form new
relationships or keep up ones that already exist. Though it is not always
successful, research has shown that the most effective strategy to intervene
to lessen loneliness is through treatment that aims to address this
maladaptive cognition.
Social Contagion: Like a disease, loneliness can spread among
social groupings. The maladaptive thinking that frequently follows long-term
loneliness is the mechanism behind this. A man may get more lonely if he loses
a buddy for any reason, which could lead to the development of maladaptive
thought patterns like excessive neediness or mistrust of other friends. hence,
should he go on to break up with his remaining buddies, resulting in an
additional loss of human connection. There is now a cascade of loneliness as
those other pals start to feel more alone as well.
However, research has shown that this contagion effect is not always present—a
slight increase in loneliness is not necessarily the reason for the
maladaptive thought patterns. Additionally, people may make new acquaintances
or strengthen existing ones after losing a friend.
Internet: Research, particularly those that use data from the
1990s, when internet use became commonplace, have tended to reveal a moderate
link between substantial internet use and loneliness. Studies looking into
whether the link is just the result of lonely people being more drawn to the
internet or whether the internet might genuinely promote loneliness have
produced contradictory results. According to the displacement hypothesis, some
people decide to spend less time online and less time interacting with others
in person. The potential of the internet to empower people and promote contact
may outweigh the risks associated with excessive use, which can lead to
anxiety, sadness, and loneliness.
Molecular Biology: According to smaller, earlier studies,
loneliness may be 37–55% inherited. The first genome-wide association study on
loneliness, conducted in 2016, discovered that the heritability of loneliness
is substantially lower, ranging from 14% to 27%. This implies that although a
person s genes may influence their level of loneliness, personal experiences
and environmental factors have a greater influence.
Types of Loneliness
Social and emotional loneliness are the two main categories of loneliness.
Robert S. Weiss articulated this distinction in his landmark 1973 book
Loneliness: The Experience of Emotional and Social Isolation. People who work
to treat or better understand loneliness have tended to treat these two types
of loneliness separately, though this is far from always the case. This is
because Weiss believed that "both types of loneliness have to be examined
independently, because the satisfaction for the need of emotional loneliness
cannot act as a counterbalance for social loneliness, and vice versa."
Social loneliness
The loneliness that results from having a small social circle is known as
social loneliness. They might not believe they are a part of a group or that
they have allies or friends they can turn to in difficult times.
Emotional loneliness
An inability to form meaningful, caring relationships with other people leads
to emotional loneliness. Weiss connected attachment theory to his idea of
emotional loneliness. Humans require strong bonds, which can be satisfied by
close friends, but they are also frequently satisfied by parents and other
close family members, as well as later in life by love partners.
Enrico DiTommaso and Barry Spinner divided emotional loneliness into two
categories in 1997: romantic loneliness and family loneliness. In contrast to
social loneliness, which did not raise mortality, a 2019 study indicated that
emotional loneliness greatly raised the risk of death for older persons living
alone.
Family loneliness
People who believe they don t have strong relationships with their family
members experience familial loneliness. In contrast to romantic or social
loneliness, only family loneliness was linked to a higher incidence of
self-harm, according to a 2010 study including 1,009 students.
Romantic Loneliness
Adults and teenagers who do not have a close relationship with a romantic
partner may experience romantic loneliness. According to
psychologists, developing a committed love relationship is an important responsibility for
young adults, but many are putting it off until their late 20s or later. As
long as they experience emotional closeness in their connection, persons in
romantic partnerships typically report feeling less lonely than single people.
Romantic loneliness can still exist in relationships where one spouse is
emotionally distant or unstable.
Distinguishing between social isolation and loneliness
Being socially isolated (a loner, for example) and feeling lonely are two
quite different things. Specifically, loneliness can be understood as the
difference between one s required and actual amounts of social connection,
whereas isolation is just the absence of social interaction. Therefore,
loneliness is a multifaceted and subjective emotion; loneliness is experienced
by an individual only if they believe they are alone. Both being alone and
being in the center of a throng can make someone feel lonely. A person
experiences loneliness when they believe they should be in more social
situations or in situations of a particular kind or caliber that are not
readily available to them. When at a party, someone may feel lonely because
they aren t interacting with people.On the other hand, despite the fact that
no one else is present, a person can remain alone and not feel lonely if they
have no desire to socialize. There have also been arguments made for the idea
that everyone has a certain ideal degree of social engagement. An individual
may experience emotions of loneliness or overstimulation if they engage in too
little or too much social interaction.
For some people, solitude might be beneficial. According to one study,
spending time by oneself can enhance one s cognitive state, including focus,
even if it also tends to lower mood and exacerbate feelings of loneliness. One
could argue that some people look for isolation in order to find a more vital
and meaningful life. Moreover, people s moods tended to dramatically improve
after the alone time. Aside from these benefits, solitude is also linked to
religious experiences, identity formation, and other beneficial growth
experiences. One example of this is the use of solitude in rites of passage
for adolescents.
Transient vs. chronic loneliness
The temporal viewpoint is the subject of another significant loneliness
typology. In this sense, loneliness might be classified as either temporary or
permanent.
Transient loneliness is a transient emotion that may usually be quickly
resolved. Severe loneliness is more enduring and difficult to overcome.A
person experiencing temporary loneliness can be unwell and unable to interact
with friends. Reducing loneliness would be simple for the person after they
recovered. Chronic loneliness is the state in which a person experiences
long-term emotions of loneliness, regardless of whether they are with friends
or at a family reunion.
Loneliness as a human condition
Individuality is seen by existentialists as the fundamental aspect of what it
is to be human. Every human being is born alone, lives their entire existence
as an individual, and passes away alone. The human condition is to learn to
live with some degree of grace and satisfaction, to cope with this, to accept
it.
Some philosophers, like Sartre, hold that loneliness is an inherent aspect of
the human experience due to the conflict between people s consciousness
seeking purpose in existence and the universe s nothingness and solitude. This
idea is known as epistemic loneliness. On the other hand, some existentialist
philosophers contend that loneliness is just the experience of feeling
detached from human interaction and creation, which involves humans actively
engaging with the universe and one another.
Loneliness and It’s Impact on one’s Mental Health
Since loneliness and
depression
have been connected, loneliness increases the chance of suicide. Loneliness
was examined in an analysis of over 4,000 persons over 50 who participated in
the English Longitudinal Study of Ageing (ELSA). Within a year, nearly one in
five of those who said they were lonely showed signs of depression. Émile
Durkheim defined egoistic suicide as mostly caused by loneliness, notably the
incapacity or reluctance to live for others, i.e., for friendships or
altruistic ideals. Loneliness is a significant trigger for drinking and
depression in adulthood. Individuals who lack social support may experience
poor sleep, which can lead to a reduction in their ability to heal themselves.
Although the long-term effects of prolonged periods of loneliness are poorly
understood, it has been observed that individuals who are alone or suffer from
loneliness for extended periods of time enter a state known as "ontological
crisis" or "ontological insecurity," in which they are unsure of whether they
exist at all or if they do, exactly who or what they are. This state causes
them to experience intense mental pain and suffering.
Lack of social ties in kids is closely associated with a number of antisocial
and self-destructive behaviors, the most prominent of which are aggressive and
delinquent behaviors. Loneliness frequently hinders memory and learning in
both adults and children. Its interference with sleep cycles can seriously
impair one s capacity to carry out daily tasks.
As a cluster of symptoms, pain,
depression, and exhaustion may have similar risk factors. The development of the pain,
sadness, and fatigue symptom cluster over time was shown to be at risk for
loneliness, according to two long-term studies conducted on distinct
populations. The health hazards associated with loneliness are also
highlighted by these statistics; those who experience pain, despair, and
weariness in addition to serious disease are at a higher risk of poor health
and mortality.
Suicidal ideas, suicidal thoughts, and suicidal acts can all be brought on by
loneliness. It is challenging to pinpoint the precise degree to which
loneliness contributes to suicides, though, as there are usually a number of
possible reasons. Dr. Jeremy Noble writes, "You don t have to be a doctor to
recognize the connection between loneliness and suicide" in an essay for the
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Suicidal thoughts and attempts
increase with the intensity of loneliness. There are effects on all levels of
society from the loneliness that leads to suicidal thoughts.
Elderly individuals may also experience extreme loneliness, which might
provoke suicidal or self-harming ideas in them. Some nations seem to have a
large percentage of suicides among their senior inhabitants, whereas other
nations have a noticeably greater suicide rate among middle-aged men.
Loneliness can be exacerbated by retirement, ill health, the death of a
significant other or other family members or friends. It can be challenging to
pinpoint older adults who commit suicide as a result of loneliness. They
frequently have no one with whom to share their loneliness and the ensuing
hopelessness. To hasten death and spare themselves the agony of loneliness,
people can give up food, change the dosages of their meds, or decide not to
treat a sickness.