How to maintain a happier married life

How to maintain a happier married life
Written By: Counselling Psychologist
M.Sc. Psychology - Swansea University, UK.
Reviewed By: Counselling Psychologist
MA Psychology Pennsylvania State University, USA
Last Updated: 21-03-2023

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Getting married is a piece of cake but being married is not so much! Soon after the first couple of (honeymoon) years are over, you must have seen it going in the other direction, opposite of what you imagined. You and your partner must have promised," We won t be like the other couples." Well, here you are finding ways to keep your married life lively as it used to be. Do not feel alone or embarrassed; instead, you should be proud that you are making an effort to keep yourself and your partner happy.

We share the not-so-secret ingredients for a happy married life. We all know these are important; however, the amount of these ingredients we add is insufficient. A little bit more (effort), and there you go!

2 cups of independence

You must be happy first in order to be happy in a committed relationship. Marriage does not mean you and your partner are bound to do everything together. Take some alone time, and make sure your partner gets that too. Enjoy healthy hobbies in your time. Give each other space to grow.

1 cup of listening skills

Make way for healthy conversations. While women are known to be active talkers, men, on the other hand, are not very active listeners. Hearing and listening are not the same. Listening requires much more than a pair of ears. With all your heart and attention, look at them when they talk, reassure and paraphrase even- this tells them you are actually listening.

2 cups of understanding

It is a myth that marriages work by agreeing with your partner. Well, not really. You stand with your beliefs and opinions, and you have the right to stand with them. A successful couple should happily accept and understand their liking and respect them.

2 tablespoons of forgiveness

We are not saints. It is human nature to make mistakes. Forgiving and asking for forgiveness is a high virtue that holds relationships together. However, not always. Everyone has a tolerance level; ensure that you or your partner are not crossing it or taking advantage of it.

4 cups of intimacy/love

Intimacy is an essential puzzle piece for the complete picture. Intimacy is key to a healthy marriage. Even though your relationship has a strong emotional connection, it will not hold the relationship together for longer if the physical connection is missing.

Similarly, just physical and no emotional attachment, later on, will also damage the best of marriages. Spark in the romance again; surprise them with gifts, date nights, or leave love notes for them. The list goes on, and you will be amazed at how far a little romance can go.

3 tablespoons of responsibility

A straightforward task, but many do not succeed. Arguments on topics are common in marriages but remember to take responsibility for your actions and words. Moreover, take responsibility even during failures and not just for successes.

1 tablespoon pure extract of compliments

Compliment your partner s positive features, anything, and everything you like about them. Let them know you are still attracted to them. Do not do this to expect a reciprocal compliment. Do it with genuineness.

1 heaped cup of laughter

Do not kill the fun. There are way too many stressors in daily life. We all wish to go home to peace and happiness. If you are not the one with a sense of humor (because there is always the funny one in the relationship), do share jokes. Just because you are busy and stressed does not mean your partner should share the same mood. If you are the funny one, do not stop making them laugh, because whether you know it or not, they are waiting for it.

Just a little bit of push and effort is needed to bring your marriage back on track. You will be thankful to yourself for being the one to initiate the change. Plus, it is well said that "Happily ever after is not a fairy tale. It is a choice." – Fawn Weaver.



The Keys to a Successful Marriage  (n.d.).

Scott, E. M. (2019). How to Maintain a Happy Marriage With Some Stress

Andersen, C. H. (2020). 45 Longtime Couples Share the Marriage Tip That s Kept Them Together.


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