Navigating Addiction as a Family

You might have seen traffic accidents caused by drunk driving. Like some epidemics, substance abuse is a mass killer. Addict is a safety hazard to the addict himself, to the family and to society. Addiction leaves the scars of its ravages to the next generation as well.

This blog demonstrates the implications of drug abuse at the various strata of the society. It describes in detail the wider implications of drug abuse as it affects children in the families and economic development for the society and nation.

SUBSTANCE ABUSE, FAMILY AND THE NATION 

Addiction leads to deformation of the character of the children. When one member of the family abuses drugs-be it a parent, child, or relative-it causes disruption and disharmony within the family and every family member suffers. Drug abusers often become so obsessed with the habit that everything going on around them, including the needs and situations of other family members is ignored, leading to a breakdown of the family as an entity.

The nation pays a heavy price for drug abuse in economic terms as well as in human terms. Most of the drug users are 18 to 35 years of age. Some; of them are employed and others are not. The employed ones create serious problems in their workplace.

Drug abuse has another price to pay: the ecological cost. Deforestation, soil erosion, pollution of water sources, the extensive spraying of herbicides, degradation of ecosystems, changes in the hydrographic system, demographic pressure and population migration are indirect consequences of drug production.

Substance Abuse and Family 

The damaging effects of drug abuse on the family are perhaps those, which pose the greatest threat to the nation. When own members of the family abuse drugs- be it a parent, child or a relative-it causes disruption and disharmony within the family and every member suffers. Drug abusers are often obsessed with the notion that everything is going on smoothly around them, including the needs and situation of family members. Their ignorance lead to a breakdown of the family functioning.

The abuser often demonstrates certain criminal behaviour by disturbing the family atmosphere, and as a result suffers physically and psychologically. The effect on the family members due to the loss of a beloved one-very often an earning member is very painful.

Substance Abuse and Domestic Violence

Daily expertise and research has shown that domestic violence is a common occurrence in the drug abusers family. Children and women are particularly vulnerable to violence caused by addiction. "Child abuse, wife battering, dowry deaths, marital violence and desertion are common manifestations of domestic violence" (UNDCP 1999). Drug abuse, particularly alcohol abuse and violence go together.

Drug addicts manifest many aspects of socially unacceptable behaviour. Violence, aggression, grandiosity, irresponsibility, selfishness and gambling can all become part of the chemical dependent life-style. Violent drug related crimes constitute a large proportion of the crimes committed in South Asian Countries- ranging from between as high as 70% in Nepal and 20% in India. (UNDCP Report 1999).

Addictive Families and Children

Addiction affects children more than all other categories. Adults can choose to live in the same family or leave it. Children can neither choose to leave the addictive family, nor do they have the means to do it. A wife or a partner may feel helpless about another family members addiction, but the truth is that the child is truly helpless.

Due to the addictive behaviour of one member of the family the whole attention of the family will be focused on that family. That effect of such an environment is permanently disastrous for the child. They lose their identity; they become victims of depression, anxiety, and stress and will have severe adjustment problems in the society.

Researches show that domestic violence is total harmful to the emotional and mental development of a child. Even if they are not physical by abused, witnessing violence lead them copy on parents and siblings also tend to be abusers in adulthood. Many children of the alcoholics become alcoholics.

Studies in India and other nations show that domestic violence is common in drug abuser s family. Women and children are the usual victims of this violence. Child abuse is the most serious form of this violence. It is estimated of every four female victims of sexual abuse, three are minors.

Family Response to Addiction 

As mentioned earlier, family remains the first and most important socialising institution, where safety and security for the individual is found while facing difficulty in life. Drug abuse is a sign that a family has failed to help the child in its maturing process. It is sign of helplessness from the family like a person attempting suicide, because he cannot cope with the tasks of life.

A family copes with addiction in different ways. Almost in all cases the methods are unsatisfactory, indirectly encouraging addiction of the children. If the family has adopted a healthy method, it would have been able to solve the problem successfully. We shall describe below the various responses of families in the face of addiction. You can identify that they are all negative methods.

Similarly, the family of the addict responds to addiction in certain ways, which are often damaging to the individual. The six-stage process is given below.

1) Denial: Denying and justifying the drinking problem of the member. When the family becomes aware of the problem, it would refuse to accept it as a problem or deny the problem. The family members might also find other reasons justifying the addict s drug habit.

2) Withdrawal from the society: The family withdraws from all social interactions, for fear of being identified as a problem family. They will try to protect the addict from the consequence of drug abuse by taking responsibility for his actions.

3) Loss of control: When the family members dance to the tune of the addict for a long time and the addict continues to behave the same way, taking advantage of the good will of the family members they begin to feel angry.

4) Re-organising the Family System: This is one of the early methods, which the family found effective. The family members take up the responsibility of the addict and fulfil the roles the addict is supposed to fulfil.

Emotional Response of the Addictive Family 

We would like to repeat that addiction is a family disease. No member can escape the consequence of the addiction of one member of the family. They suffer physically as well as emotionally. Here we are describing how the family responds emotionally addiction:

Guilt: The family members feel that addiction of a dear one is due to some of their own fault. This response is strengthened by social stigma attached to addiction.

Anger : The family members try their best to adjust themselves to the demands of the addict. They may not express their resentments and may not even meet their own physical needs to placate the addicts.

Grief: The family has lost all interest in life. They also feel the loss of a very dear person. There are sorts of loss, like material goods, good name of the family, personal dignity etc. grief needs to be expressed, just like any other emotion.

Shame: Living in an addictive family is very stressful. The behaviour of the addict is highly unpredictable. The members do not know what to expect from the addict.

Behavioural Response of the Addictive Family

All behaviours are expressions of emotions. Addictive families have certain predictable behavioural patterns. The intensity of these behaviours may differ, but they do not have similarities in contents.

Protecting: The family members want the addict to get out of the problems. So they take up the work and duties he himself has to perform. Instead of making him realise and face the problem arising out of his irresponsibility, they will do all his work, clear his debts, and tell lies about his absence. This process is called enabling. We will be discussing more in the next section, i.e. codependency.

Controlling: The family members make all kinds of efforts to control the addictive habits of the addict. They may buy a fixed amount of drugs for him to use at home; they may try to destroy the supply of drugs in his possession, and they may try to accompany him whenever he goes.

Blaming: The addict s actions are damaging for the family. This makes the members angry. But often they do not express it to avoid confrontation. When something goes wrong seriously in the family, the members will begin blaming the addict for the misfortune.

Denial: No one would like to admit unpleasant realities, which they cannot control. One way to handle such situations is to deny them.

Co-Dependency

"Co-dependency is an emotional, psychological and behavioural condition that develops as a result of an individual s prolonged exposure to, and practice of, a set of oppressive rules which prevent the open expression of feeling as well as the direct discussion of personal and interpersonal problems. In other words it means being a partner in dependency.

When a person takes to drugs he will not be able to continue his habit for a long time if somebody is not there to help him to face the consequences of his action. Without them he would be forced to face the consequence of his drug habit, before it becomes a case of full-blown addiction.